Chapter 10 - The Price of Status and the Closed Door

The first drops of coastal rain began to hit the cedar shingles with the dull patter of thrown gravel.
Cullen walked toward the porch stairs like a soldier returning from a total rout, his leather shoes dragging through the wet grass.
The fine wool of his designer suit jacket was already darkening with damp patches across the shoulders.
"Mom," he croaked, his voice stripped of every trace of the polished arrogance he had displayed at the Atlanta airport.
He reached the bottom step, but he did not dare set his foot onto the first plank.
"Mom, please... you’ve made your point."
"You proved what you wanted to prove in front of everyone."
"Miles took Blythe, they’re going to file for an annulment, and I don't have a job to go back to on Monday."
"I don't have an apartment in Boston, Mom, my bank account is overdrawn from the honeymoon flights to Maui."
"Just let me come inside and sleep in my old room until I can sort this out."
I looked down at the boy I had nursed through scarlet fever, the boy Nile had taught to hold a hammer on this very porch.
There was no triumph in my chest, only the hollow, echoing ache that every parent feels when they realize their child has become a stranger.
"Your old room was turned into my sewing space seven years ago, Cullen," I said quietly.
"And this house does not belong to the boy who used to sleep here."
"It belongs to the memory of an honest man whom you disowned because his hands smelled of cedar shavings instead of French cologne."
Cullen dropped to his knees on the wet gravel at the base of the stairs, clutching the wooden post with both arms.
"I’m sorry, Mom! I’m sorry! I’ll call Blythe and tell her it was all my fault! I’ll apologize to the neighbors!"
"You are not sorry you hurt me, Cullen," I said, setting my coffee cup down upon the small wicker side table.
"You are not even sorry you hid your father’s picture in a drawer beneath Chinese takeout menus so your wealthy friends wouldn't see his work clothes."
"You are sorry because the door is locked from the inside, and you are standing out in the rain without an umbrella."
"What am I supposed to do?" he cried, tears finally cutting clean tracks through the sea salt on his face.
"Where am I supposed to go with ten boxes of clothes and nowhere to sleep?"
I stood up from the rocker, smoothed the wool blanket, and laid it neatly across the wicker seat.
"There is a boarding house down by the commercial fish pier," I told him, pointing through the gray mist toward the harbor lights three miles south.
"Old Mrs. Higgins rents rooms by the week to the men who work the morning trawlers."
"The rooms are twelve feet square, the floorboards are unvarnished pine, and the hot water runs out after four minutes."
"That is where your father lived when he arrived in this town with fifty dollars in his coat pocket and a box of hand tools."
"Go down there, Cullen, carry your own bags, and ask her if she has an open bed."
"Mom, please don't do this to me!" he begged, his voice rising into a wail that was lost beneath the crash of the surf.
"I am not doing this to you, sweetheart," I said, reaching into my apron pocket and pulling out a single ten-dollar bill.
I walked to the railing and let the bill flutter down into the gravel near his wet knees.
"The taxi fare into town is eight dollars and fifty cents."
"The rest will buy you a cup of black coffee and a doughnut at the diner while you wait for Mrs. Higgins to open her desk."
I turned toward the heavy blue front door that Nile had painted with five-gallon buckets of Atlantic blue.
George walked past Cullen without a word, carrying his toolbox toward his rusted pickup truck parked by the cliff edge.
"Take care of yourself, Cullen," George said over his shoulder as he opened his truck door.
"Your dad was a good man; it’s a shame you never took the time to learn how to swing a hammer."
I stepped across the threshold into the warm, dry foyer of the Point, smelling the familiar scents of old cedar, beeswax, and sea salt.
On the mantelpiece above the stone hearth, Nile’s framed photograph stood tall and clean, exactly where it had belonged for fourteen years.
I looked at Nile’s smiling face in the black-and-white print, feeling his quiet presence beside me in the hall.
Then I reached out, took hold of the heavy brass knob, and pulled the thick oak door shut against the storm.
The heavy deadbolt clicked into the reinforced strike plate with a deep, final, metallic thud that echoed through the empty house.
Through the narrow glass transom above the lintel, I watched Cullen slowly stand up from the mud, pick up two of his wet leather bags, and begin the long, solitary walk down the dark bluff road.
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The rain fell harder against the glass, washing away the tire tracks of the thirty-four guests who had come to watch an old woman surrender.
I turned off the exterior porch lights, walked into Nile’s kitchen, and set the kettle on the stove for another cup of tea.