Chapter 7 - THE PAPER THAT NEVER BELONGED TO ME
Rebecca told me not to make accusations until we knew what the records showed.
I tried to follow her advice.
But I couldn't stop thinking about the document Lauren claimed Ryan had shown them.
A document suggesting I had been unfaithful.
A document supposedly connected to my pregnancy.
I had never cheated on Ryan.
Not once.
Not emotionally.
Not physically.
Not during the happiest years of our marriage or the lonely final months.
And I had never been told that any doctor questioned my child's paternity.
Three days after the wedding, I received the first records release from the clinic.
It contained appointment summaries and copies of ordinary communications.
Nothing explained the mysterious document.
Then I saw a notation in the correspondence log.
An authorization request had been submitted through the patient portal using my account.
The request sought to add Ryan as an authorized recipient of certain correspondence.
I stared at the entry.
I had not submitted it.
At least, I had no memory of doing so.
The clinic's records office said the request was flagged because the electronic confirmation process had not been completed correctly.
I immediately called Rebecca.
"I didn't authorize that."
"Then we need the full audit trail."
"Can they tell who did it?"
"Possibly, but we shouldn't assume until the review is complete."
She paused.
"Did Ryan know your portal password?"
I closed my eyes.
For years, we had shared passwords to make handling children's appointments and household accounts easier.
"Yes."
"Change it."
"I already did."
"Good."
The next afternoon, Ryan appeared at my door.
His tie was loose.
His face looked tired.
For one second, he resembled the man I remembered from better years.
"Can we talk?"
I stayed behind the screen door.
"Through here."
He sighed.
"Annie, please."
"What do you want?"
"I want this to stop."
"What exactly?"
"The rumors."
I stared at him.
"You mean the truth?"
He rubbed his forehead.
"Lauren's getting threats online."
"Then she should report them."
"You don't care?"
"I care about my children."
He looked away.
Then he said, "Amelia needs to apologize."
I felt my jaw tighten.
"No."
"She's going to destroy her relationship with me."
"That depends on how you treat her."
He stared at me.
Then his voice changed.
"You're enjoying this."
I shook my head.
"No, Ryan."
I looked directly into his eyes.
"Nobody who has lost a baby and a marriage is enjoying any of this."
For a moment, he looked almost ashamed.
Then I asked the question I had been carrying for days.
"What document did you show my mother and Lauren?"
His expression hardened.
"What document?"
"The one you claimed came from my hospital."
He hesitated.
It lasted less than a second.
But I saw it.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Lauren says you accused me of cheating."
He looked toward the street.
"She was upset."
"Did you?"
He exhaled.
"Annie, there were things about our marriage you didn't understand."
I felt cold.
"Like your affair?"
He ignored that.
"You weren't always honest with me."
I laughed bitterly.
"Then prove it."
He stared.
"Excuse me?"
"Show me your evidence."
"I don't have to."
"Of course you don't."
I reached for the door.
"Goodbye, Ryan."
His hand shot forward.
Not touching me.
Just blocking the frame.
"Wait."
I looked down at his hand.
Then back at his face.
"Move."
He stepped back.
I began closing the door.
Then he said something that stopped me.
"You really should ask your mother about the blood test."
I froze.
"What blood test?"
Ryan's face changed.
As though he hadn't intended to say it.
He took a step backward.
Then turned and walked to his car.
May you like
I watched him drive away.
And for the first time, I wondered whether the secret was older than my marriage.
